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Fathers Battling Injustice
Hey, Dirt....Halton Women's Shelter Exposed
Posted By: sprice
Date: Monday, 5 April 1999, at 9:13 p.m.
Courtesy: Court Watch Report
Don't know if this was posted or not...if so, it bears repeating.
Susan ------------
ONTARIO TAXPAYER WATCH REPORT
Published by the Ontario Citizen’s Free Press - By the Citizens and for the Citizens of Ontario
Burlington, Ontario
A former resident of the Halton Women's shelter in Burlington, Ontario came forth with the horror story of her experience at the shelter. Helen, whose name has been changed out of fear that her family could receive threats from sympathizers to the shelter movement, indicated that the public and the taxpayers should be aware of the horrors going on at the shelter. She indicated that money is being squandered and facilities misused by those who stay there. Based on her six week stay at the shelter in 1997, she felt that the shelter was largely being used as a free hostel for women with emotional problems and who were looking for free handouts and a free place to stay while they were angry against their partners. "During my six week stay at the shelter, I met only one other resident who I felt was what most people would consider a decent mother. The rest of the women definitely had serious emotional problems. It didn't take any doctor to see that they were dysfunctional parents. They were terrible mothers who likely were a significant cause of the problems that landed them there in the first place. I believe that many of the women were not physically abused and out of anger wanted a break just like I did. I was not physically abused" Helen explained the circumstances leading up to her stay at the shelter. She said that it all started when she and her husband were having a heated argument at home. Although they both yelled and screamed at each other, there was no physical violence. "I was angry and just wanted to get out of the house and get some space. My husband did not want me to leave, so out of anger I called the police. Not once did I ever fear or even think that my husband would hurt me. He has never hit me or touched me, not ever. "When the Halton Regional police came, I told them that I could stay at my mother's house, but the police told me no. They pressured me into believing that I had to go to the shelter and that I had no other choice. Once at the shelter, the staff pressured me and just took over by telling me what do. You kind of get swept away by the system. "In hindsight, I now see that the whole system is geared to get the father charged with an offense and to make the mother look like the victim. Even though my husband never hit me, the police still laid charges. I refused to go to court as I did not want to see my husband branded a criminal for having a verbal altercation in which we both were involved. "Once in the shelter, I felt stuck until I got my own place", said Helen. Helen also indicated that the system offered no help to mend problems. Charging the father and then going after him seemed to be the main goal of the system. Helen said that although staying at the shelter would have been a horror story for most normal mothers, to those in there, the shelter is a place where you could get a vacation from your financial responsibilities. Helen stated that many children at the shelter were being exposed to an abusive environment and that the shelter was no place for children to be living in. Some of the things she witnessed were: · One night, a little girl cried for a long time looking for her mother. When Helen tried to locate the mother, she found that the mother had left the shelter to go drinking at a local bar. · Mothers were staying up late at night without putting their children to bed at an appropriate time. At night, women could be heard yelling at their kids. Someone could come barging into your room without notice. · Women fought over use of the two phone lines. They spent hours at a time on the phone while the children were just left to run around unattended. · Fights by women over donations. The more aggressive women were first to push their way to the donation and got what they wanted while others waited in pecking line. · Children being hurt while playing while inattentive mothers and staff were busy doing other things · One woman at the facility had a drug problem. The mother did not take care of the baby properly. Half the time the mother left her child with others expecting them to babysit. Eventually, CAS was called in and the baby taken away from the mother. · Swearing. Most of the women and shelter staff used foul language in the presence of the children. · Staff and residents spent a lot of time father-bashing Residency at a shelter is often used by mothers to gain the sympathy of the court in a custody battle by making the mother look like an innocent and poor victim. Usually the courts assume that those living in shelters are abused. The Halton Women's shelter has issued letters to the court for mothers who have a documented history with the CAS for child abuse. In one case, a vindictive and angry mother who attacked her own daughter with a butcher knife and chasing her out of the house was given a letter from the Halton Women's shelter stating that she was an excellent mother. The purpose was to get the court to persecute the father. As a result, this mother continues to abuse the children and the non-custodial parent is powerless to stop the abuse of the children! and degrading men in the presence of the children. Helen said that she thought that it is terrible for children to be exposed to this type of hate. Helen said that she tried to stay with her son at night but that other women actually made fun of her for going to bed so early. While Helen got up in the morning to care for her son, many of the other women could not be bothered to get up, and instead, they slept while their kids ran around screaming. Helen described how she felt that shelter staff were very biased against men. She said that all the staff were abused themselves and told residents of their personal abuse stories. The whole environment was unbalanced and cult-like. On one hand it may have been good for other abused people to help you but that the bias was so deep that it was fostering hate against the children’s fathers. In closing, Helen stated, “It was a terrible place. Not the environment where children should be…. not even the women.”
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