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Fathers Battling Injustice
Daughter Does Not Want to See Me
Posted By: Manny Noela
Date: Sunday, 8 August 1999, at 11:31 a.m.
Hi,
1. As I posted earlier on this board, I was granted interim interim custody a month ago, while my ex went on a business trip to Atlanta and abandoned the kids in my care, and there is currently a motion before the courts for interim custody both myself and my ex. Both my son and daughter were very happy while in my care, and neighbours noticed very positive things about their change -- my son had put on weight, his hair color changed from red to dark, and was growing more, he was more expressive and more mobile, contrary to how he looked when I had access, and my daughter was displaying less tantrums and aggresive behaviour
2. While the kids were in my custody, my ex refused to exercise access because she claimed she could not afford to travel to pickup the kids (although she had a car and paying a lease of almost $400.00/month; although she could afford a new lawyer and pay a retainer a week after she refused access; although she could afford to become a member of Primerica Financial services, and pay for a trip to Atlanta, and stay in a hotel). Anyhow, my lawyer asked me to then do the driving, and I drove both kids down this weekend to see their mother, much against my will and pride, but I did it nevertherless in the best interest of both kids.
3. I was apprehensive about the consequences of such a visit, and did consider insisting on a supervised access, as she has been trying to alienate me from them (by changing their surnames, falsely accusing me of sexually molesting our daughter; calling child protective agencies on me after every access visit, leading to an ongoing investigation by the CAS, and threatened to flee the jurisdiction two years ago), but my lawyer and others thought it was not very likely the judge would grant supervised access at this time.
4. I called to speak to my daughter today, and she told me: she did not want to come back and see me and that I did not love her. My daughter is a three year old, but I'm saddened to hear these outbursts -- she has never told me things of this nature. When I had access, she was always excited to come and see me; she generally was interested in coming back to see her mother. And I encouraged that by never speak ill of her mother nor in her presence.
5. I'm driving down to pick them up tomorrow? I'm concerned her mother is probably working her up, and she (for the first time) might be emotional when leaving her mother. -- What does this mean? -- How does/will the courts interprete this behaviour, as we're back in court to argue the motion for interim custody next week? -- How do I deal with this?. -- I'm feeling so sorry for my daughter who is caught in the middle, and must be struggling emotionally to comprehend this. -- I've done everything I could about this -- ex refuses to cooperate and refuses mediation. I smell PAS here. Anyhelp or related experiences out there?
Thanks.
Concerned and Confused Manny.
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